So, naturally, you make no decision and end up staying in. Why not? Binge-watch some House of Cards, do a face mask, drink some wine, complain to your pets, and eat a microwave dinner (but not necessarily in that order).
Yes, your Friday night is as pathetic as the Single Woman's aisle in your grocery store and you're fine with it.
But... what if your night could be even better? OH yes, it's possible.
A company called Apollo Peak has made what seemed like an impossible dream a reality.
You can now get drunk with your pets. Well, not exactly, there isn't actually any alcohol in them — but we can lie to ourselves, right? Denial is a powerful, powerful thing. You no longer have to question all the decisions you made that brought you here because everything is going to be alright.
Now, it's safe to assume that cats would probably drink wine, and dogs would probably drink beer, but we're going to talk about wine here — we only need to associate with the classiest of critters.
The wine for cats comes in two vintages — "Pinot Meow" or "Moscato" — and for the dogs we have "ZinfanTail" and "The CharDOGnay".
And guess what? They're $11.95 a bottle, so you know it's the good stuff. Each ingredient is hand picked and lovingly grown in the US. Where is your wine from? France? Get on your cat's level. You think your dog is going to stand for your handcrafted Italian wine when he's three sips into his ZinfanTail? Think again.
So, when you pretend to make plans for the weekend, you at least don't have to be embarrassed about including your pets.
Let's face it, life is better with furry friends anyways, so it was only a matter of time before this happened. Anything that a dog would want to do is probably more fun than any activity my friends have planned so when I say I can't go out on account of spending time with Danger, it will be only slightly less pathetic.
You'll no longer have to face the cold and harsh judgement of your cat when you return home at 3 a.m. the next time you actually do go out.
Because they will probably be the one unlocking the door and making your drunk ass some toast and ice water. I know, seems uncharacteristically nice for a cat, but wine makes people do strange things.
Congratulations, you will no longer be the only delinquent disappointment in your family.
Wine Wednesday will now require the company of your pet, which makes you 100% more tolerable. Who can be disappointed at you when your cat is drinking out of a tiny cat-sized wine glass? Literally no one. Once again, animals prove to be a godsend and that they are, in fact, better than people.
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